First lay your ground; the madcap lexicon you draw from,

A horns and tuckets register – blow blatant circumstance

Wind syntax round a curve which serves to nerve authority;

A sack of sonorous sounds, profoundly woolly-worsted words

  Your oath ‘work tirelessly’ confers a mannered impress

Upon the public weal; brays friends in asses ears;

Your trade and indeterminate ‘we’ deceit, betrays, appeals,

Sues settees cakes and tea;

Assurance sits at home, safe bluster’s looking out for him

  Uncultivated little guy, won by a spendthrift swell,

Those grand auxiliary adverbs vending lemon drizzle

(Such furious generosity not been know since Christ arose;

Messiah’s personal particular provision lacking)

  Establish distance; shape a nature made in Middle Earth

By a Humperdinck bedtime inclined imagination

Become the doyen of a large parental rectitude:

Welcome, the moderator of The Great Big Fuss

  Project; slip like a cruise ship on its gorgeous launch

Felicitously and Champagne-soaked into receiving seas

Disturb the circling mackerel, waft, wash whelks and sediments

Lurch in; and you’re immersed; sail valiantly

  You’re Master, Missus, Bigshot; think respectably

Inhabit the right clothes, your seemly theatre wardrobe

The gig’s a stand-up routine, and your monologuing comes

Converging all avowals; slopping sentiment like cream

  Your covering fig-leaf pose prefers the passive tense

The personal pronoun ‘one’ well done defers complacently

Enfolds you like as drapes - supporting objectivity;

The Emperor’s New Clothes

  That act enacted sublimates, disputes the gates of mind

A liminal disposition ties the splice which knits for real

So nicely, that your role-play carries off by fused transition,

A stream self-referential, which ‘authentic’ stamps your brains

  For sure, the mauvaise foi, a mode a shade too pensive,

Inventive; that your slave addiction recognise

You fashion feather shorings, plait in biscuit basketry

Your world - burlesque, absurd; your figure pastiche, plasticine.